It's July! Summer is in full effect (If you live in the Northern Hemisphere... sorry Australia!) and that means it's time another sale from Weapons Grade Performance!
The Happy Birthday, Eh? Sale!
Saturday, 7/1/17 is Canada Day, where the media likes to define as them celebrating their 150th Birthday, but more accurately, it's the anniversary of the "Constitution Act" of 1867, which merged the three colonies of Canada (which was split into Quebec and Ontario), Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick into a single colony under British rule. Canada actually didn't get its full independence until 1982! Regardless of whether or not calling it their birthday is Fake News or Not, to celebrate with our Northern neighbors, any orders placed this month will get free shipping to Canada all month long!
The Empire Strikes Back Sale!
Most people don't think of America as having an empire, which can be defined as "an aggregate of nations ruled over by a powerful government, usually in a territory much larger than its borders." Sounds about right to us. In fact, the United States currently has an active military presence in over 180 countries with over 800 active military bases worldwide! To paraphrase Princess Leia in Star Wars... "The harder you squeeze, the more will slip through your fingers..." The maintenance of the U.S. foreign military presence is a crippling economic load on the economy, which many experts feel is the road to ruin for the United States, with over half of all government spending at 600 billion dollars per year of on budget expenditures. Bringing the troops home from all of these various places around the world would dramatically improve the financial health of the United States, and to help facilitate that, any Active Duty or ex-military customers will get 10% off any orders placed with us this month, as long as you come home to enjoy your purchases!
The Toast Marshmallows, Not Bumpers Sale!
We'll re-tune any GT-R this month for 50% off, as long as you post a picture of yourself cooking a marshmallow up to your exhaust tips while using your previous reckless pop and bangs tune. You probably shouldn't eat the marshmallow if you're running E85.
The Fireworks Sale!
Speaking of Pops and Bangs, post a picture of your GT-R at a fireworks display and we'll give you a $100 gift card to the shop.
The I'll Stop The Motor of The World Sale!
If you can tell us who said they would do this, and why, we'll sell you a built WGP Spec GT-R shortblock for $5000 plus core all month long!
The Independence Day Sale!
One of the most common reactions we get after our customers take a ride in a 1000whp GT-R is "I have got to get me one of these!" Book a build to do so with us this month and we'll take 25% off the total labor bill on the project, assuming you can tell us who said the above and where!
and last but not least...
The Freedom Isn't Free Sale!
Oh wait... yes it is, that's the whole point. A "freedom" is something that is inalienable, should not be subjugated, restrained, or hindered. It's amazing to us to consider all of the "freedoms" that we have that have been taken from us. For example, here are some things that are illegal (which we'll celebrate defiance of):
-Washing your car in your driveway - As of 2017, It is now illegal to wash your car in California if your hose doesn't have an automatic shut off device, or if anything other than clean (acid?) rain water enters a storm drain. Post a picture of you washing your car in your driveway and we'll take 5% off any exterior mods to your GT-R all month long
-Operating a Lemonade Stand / Selling Girl Scout Cookies - You "need" a permit to operate these "home based" businesses according to many local zoning laws. Not to mention their impact to traffic, noise, and other regulatory infractions. Send us a box of Girl Scout cookies, and we'll take 10% off any labor bill this month at either shop.
-Cashing out your 401k "early" - You'll pay a hefty 10% penalty (a tax) if you try to spend your own savings that you deposited "tax deferred." (which shouldn't have been taxed in the first place. But to help ease your pain, we'll take 10% off any bolt on part orders purchased from us using early withdrawl of 401k funds.
-Opening a Business on your own property - ShepTrans in Ohio and English Racing in Oregon are both operated on the same pieces of property as the owners homes, but this type of activity is illegal in Connecticut and in the Seattle Metro (King County), forcing us to occupy less desirable and more expensive real estate for the shops. The only current answer to this is to "vote with your feet" and move to places that are more free, and to help you do so, we'll cover the costs of transportation to and from either of our shops for any work performed this month.
-Feeding the Homeless - Seattle (among other metros) has passed a law stating that it is illegal to give food to homeless people, citing various reasons such as food safety, public property restrictions on food sharing, and commercial restrictions on the number of people who can be fed in a single location. Make a donation to a local private homeless shelter, and we'll match the donation as a discount on GT-R parts purchased from us this month.
-Using Currency other than Dollars to Pay for Things - It is illegal to use "competing currencies" to purchase things in the United States, and a bureaucratic system to track all gold and silver transactions is actually written into the Obamacare Healthcare Act of all things. Pay us in BitCoin or any other non-dollar form of payment (gold and silver accepted) and we'll charge zero labor charges for installation of the parts purchased.
-Getting Married Without a License (and a Blood Test) The government has no business in anyone's religious or interpersonal beliefs. If you're getting married this month, or celebrating an anniversary, we'll discount your final bill by the cost of your marriage license.
-Modifying your car's exhaust system - We're all familiar with this one... All downpipes, midpipes, and catbacks are 5% off all month long.
-Speeding - This, along with so many others, such as DUI, drug offenses, etc. are a form of Pre-Crime, where you're presumed guilty of hurting someone else before it actually happens as opposed to actually hurting someone else. Book a TSM Elite Plus turbo Build with us this month, which will allow your car to go 200mph in a half mile, and we'll tune it for free and buy your ticket to the event to achieve that speed somewhere where you won't break the law.
-Having a Snowball Fight - This is illegal in Colorado. If you're from there, we'll take 5% off any turbos purchased from us this month.
-Taking an Uber to the Airport - This is illegal in Miami, and several other large metros. We'll deliver your car to the nearest airport after completing a build booked with us this month, and cover the cost of your ticket to fly in to get it so you don't take a black market cab.
-Going to / Having a Happy Hour in Illinois - So technically this was overturned in 2015, but until then I can only imagine how cranky all of the AMS employees must have been after a long day of going fast... To help ease their pain, any AMS parts purchased from us this month are 5% off.
There are probably a million other things that are illegal considering that the Code of Federal Regulations is almost 200 thousand pages long... but we can only give away so much free stuff!